Don’t Turn On Your Phone Dear

Don’t turn on your phone dear I really must confess

That though I love you anyway you look an awful mess

But you know you’d really hate to go out without a mask

I’m not looking for an argument so please do what I ask


Don’t get all defensive just accept that I am right

Those boys and girls at MI5 just don’t need the sight

Of my wife in her birthday suit with a little extra fat

Hair looking like a birds nest, we really can’t have that


Yes dear I know it sounds far-fetched and like James Bond

But they have open access from across the pond

That little camera you so like can be a two way street

Oh dear I shocked her and she’s just fainted at my feet.


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